Cheney Starts Pro-Torture Facebook Page

Original Link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/cheney-starts-pro-torture_b_191119.html

By Andy BorowitzBorowitz

In his most aggressive public relations move since leaving office, former Vice President Dick Cheney today established a Facebook page for fans of torture.

In recent weeks, Mr. Cheney has been speaking out in praise of such controversial interrogation tactics as waterboarding, but in establishing his Facebook page the former vice president seems to be attempting something far more ambitious: creating a social network for torture fans everywhere.

"This is a place where fans of waterboarding can meet, chat, and yes, hook up," Mr. Cheney told Fox News host Sean Hannity last night.

The former vice president extolled his torture fan page as a dating site, telling Mr. Hannity, "This way when you go out on a date with somebody you know going in how he or she feels about waterboarding. I think that's important in building a long-term and hopefully loving relationship. It's certainly something Lynne and I share."

But based on the tepid early response to Mr. Cheney's torture fan page -- only he and his wife Lynne have signed up to date -- the vice-president may face obstacles in creating a social network of waterboarding fans.

"I can't think of a creepier place to hook up with someone than a site that Dick Cheney is involved in," said Tracy Klugian, 27, of Madison, Wisconsin. "I'd feel like someone was always watching me."

At the White House, Vice President Joe Biden was harshly critical of his predecessor's remarks on torture, telling reporters, "Dick Cheney had eight years to run his mouth without thinking. That's my job now."